Monday, January 10, 2011

Insulting My Intelligence

I'll be happy to admit that I really don't PVP.

If someone decides that I look like a tasty target to flatten, I will usually try to escape and, failing that, wait while they finish their job so I can run back to my body in peace.  Annoying, but not terribly disturbing.  (Got over being mad about it a long time ago, back on Warsong.)

The other day, I was peacefully fishing in Hyjal.  I had a cold and was feeling miserable, with slow reactions, so I figured I'd spend the evening helping my guild raise their fishing numbers toward our new fish feast recipe.  Besides, I could use some more cheap haste food, and the mountain trout were just the thing for casual dungeons.  And the Hyjal area in which I was fishing was pretty . . . and I needed pretty.

As I stood there, staring at my bobber and generally willing myself into oblivion, two level 81 Tauren melee (plate-wearing, with stuns) jumped me.  Shadowmeld flight form didn't work (bad timing), so I just sat there and released to wisp when they were finished.

I zipped back to my body and noticed that the two Tauren were still sitting there.  No problem.  I delight in having more patience than gankers.  They apparently realized they were still visible, so they mounted and took to the air--hovering.  I rolled my eyes.  C'mon . . . as if I can't see you in the air, corpse-camping my body?

I sat back and sipped my water until they apparently decided I was on to them.  They disappeared, and I rezzed, went flight form, and decided Hyjal was unfortunately not a safe place for fishing that evening.

As I flew in the direction of my nearest Archaeology node, I received a whisper from someone I had never met.  It was something to the effect of "Hey, a couple of level 81 Tauren just killed me.  Can you help me?"

I did what I always do when I receive a strange tell:  I shift-clicked on the name.  This character was an unguilded level 57 in the Plaguelands.

C'mon . . .

No matter how amazingly fast these two Tauren may have been, they were not fast enough to have gone from Hyjal to the Plaguelands in fifteen seconds and started picking on lowbie characters.  (And isn't the Plaguelands a lower level than 57 these days?)

In addition, why would some unguilded character in the Plaguelands be whispering a random 85 in Hyjal for help, instead of looking for a stray Archaeologist in the area?

It didn't take a lot of deduction to figure out that this person was either one of the level 81 Tauren in another form or a friend.

He apparently decided I needed more goading, thus confirming my conclusion:  "A level 85 should be able to handle that, right?"  (You could almost see a 15-yr-old high school boy snickering behind the scenes with his buddies.)

I decided to toss him a bone, while reminding him that they had jumped me at a disadvantage.  "Not with a fishing pole.  Glad you had fun."

Anyone with a modicum of intelligence would have figured out by that statement that I had recognized him for who he was, but apparently his intelligence matched his patience in relation to mine.  "So can you help me?"

I put him on Ignore.

If you have a burning desire to kill my character for no apparent reason, you are a bully, but I won't usually stop you.  I'm not a PVP goddess.  But, please, don't insult my intelligence.

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