Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Sorry for my Silence

I've had a lot on my mind lately, and most of it is not involving WoW.

I have an annual inspection at work coming up, and although I believe I am about as ready as I'll ever be, it still makes me nervous.  (It's like having a single event upon which your entire job performance is based.  Just remember to be humble and correct any mistakes . . . ask questions . . . show you really are focused on the details . . . don't try to bluff your way out of anything or justify something which is shown to be wrong . . .)

In addition, my family will be moving in a few weeks.  It's just a couple of houses down, so it's not as stressful as putting the entire household into boxes and taking it in one fell swoop, but because I do not know exactly when it will be scheduled, it drives me a little crazy.  (I do not like uncertainty.)  And in the mean time, I'm supposed to be trying to go through the mounds of junk we own and throw stuff away.  (I feel like I'm always throwing stuff away, but the pile never gets any smaller.)  My husband thinks I should take a raiding vacation to focus on this.  ("And, after all," he says, "What else are you going to accomplish these weeks between now and Cata?")

The trouble is that our guild, like many, has experienced a certain amount of issues relating to raiding the last little while.  And yet, we persist, as, to be honest, in a guild like this, raiding is the glue which holds it together--it's our common goal.  I haven't talked about this with the other officers, but I'd guess there might be a certain amount of concern about the ability to hold it all together if we discontinued raiding for the last few weeks before Cataclysm.  (And, hey, after we've all adapted to our new specs, maybe--just maybe--we can tackle Heroic Putricide.)

Part of me knows that even the worst case scenario wouldn't be the end of the world.  Worst case:  people start bailing because they've just gotta have a guild which raids at the end of the expansion.  OK.  What would we do?  We'd enter Cataclysm with our core group, level up, and recruit in preparation for raiding at 85.  Given that raiding guilds are always recruiting and having to replace people who are claimed by real life, scheduling problems, or whatnot, this doesn't seem like a terribly unusual situation.  (Recognizing this is what makes me not worry about the guild in transition.)

In addition, given that things are not entirely rosy right now, I feel guilty leaving for a few weeks during the troubled times, and thus potentially adding to the burdens of the other officers.  I tend to take commitments and responsibilities seriously.  (I think some people think I take things too seriously, as evidenced by the time I compared a guild app to a job app--not an unusual comparison, actually--and the applicant weeded himself out by telling me it was laughable ("It's a game, man!"), so goodbye . . . Personally, I thought that saved us the trouble later on of finding out he didn't take his commitment to the guild seriously.)  And, yet, I have responsibilities and commitments out of game, too, which are supposed to take precedence, because, after all, it is a game.

So many times, I have found ways of juggling my out-of-game life to make room for my in-game life, but this may be one which can't be juggled.  I'll give it a try this week--go home at lunchtime to do some dejunking, work on it first thing after work, come in to work a little early so I can leave earlier, focus Saturdays and non-raiding evenings, etc.--but if the household stuff isn't progressing as quickly as it needs, then I may have to take a break.  (At least I'm not attending Blizzcon, so that's one less thing to have to juggle.)

On the bright side, after we move, I will have my very own little computer room.  (Very little--more of a cubbyhole.  But it has built-in shelves at one end and paneling on the walls, so it's kind of cool.)  And my husband has assured me we will make sure I have a wired Internet connection.

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